Why Do Some Couples Divorce Later in Life?

 Posted on March 22, 2026 in Divorce

It is common for couples to divorce between their 20s and 40s. That said, more and more couples are choosing to end their marriages later in life. This trend is known as gray divorce. People who choose gray divorces are typically 50 and older, and the numbers are striking. According to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, nearly 40 percent of people getting divorced are age 50 or older. 

If you are considering a divorce later in life, a Wheaton, IL divorce attorney can help you understand the unique legal and financial factors involved. 

Why Are So Many Couples Waiting Until Later in Life to Divorce?

They Want to Wait Until Their Children Are Grown

Some couples stay together for their children’s sake. They tolerate an unhappy or difficult marriage until the kids become independent adults, then decide to move on. This is one of the most common reasons people give for gray divorce. It is worth noting that adult children are not always protected from the emotional impact of their parents’ divorce. Even grown children can struggle with guilt, grief, or divided loyalties when their parents split later in life.

They Want to Fix Past Regrets

Many people got married because of pressure from their parents or other relatives. They may have stayed for 20 to 30 years to meet family expectations, even if the marriage was unhappy. Years later, they reach a point where they can no longer ignore what they gave up. For these people, a gray divorce is a way of reclaiming a life that was put on hold for a very long time.

They Have Years of Unaddressed Issues

It is normal for couples to disagree. The problem comes when they fight over the same issues without ever resolving them, or when they let problems build quietly for years. By the time a couple reaches their 50s or 60s, decades of unresolved conflict can make the marriage feel like it is beyond saving. Resentment that was once manageable can become the main feature of the relationship, and one or both spouses decide it is time to stop trying.

They Have Grown Apart

In some cases, couples are married for reasons that no longer apply. Shared goals around raising children or building a business can hold a marriage together for years. Once the kids leave home or retirement arrives, spouses sometimes realize they no longer share values, interests, or plans for the future. Growing apart is not dramatic. It is gradual. But it is one of the most common reasons people give for divorcing after 50.

A Major Life Event Prompted a Reassessment

Health scares, the death of a parent, or retirement can push people to take a hard look at their lives. In 2026, more people over 50 are living active, longer lives than in past generations. Many feel they still have decades ahead of them. Spending those years in an unhappy marriage feels less acceptable than it once did. A serious health event or a milestone birthday can be the thing that finally pushes someone to act on feelings they have held for years.

What Makes Gray Divorce Different in Illinois?

Gray divorce comes with legal and financial issues that younger couples rarely face. The longer a marriage lasts, the more complex the finances tend to be. Retirement accounts, pensions, Social Security benefits, and Medicare eligibility all need careful attention. Under 750 ILCS 5/503, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act divides marital property equitably, meaning fairly but not necessarily equally. Courts consider the length of the marriage when making that decision. Long marriages often result in larger maintenance awards and more complicated asset division.

Spousal maintenance is also especially important in gray divorce cases. Under 750 ILCS 5/504, courts look at factors including each spouse’s age, ability to work, and the standard of living during the marriage. For couples divorcing after 20 or more years together, indefinite maintenance is a real possibility.

Frequently Asked Questions About Gray Divorce in Illinois

Does the length of my marriage affect how property is divided?

Illinois courts consider the length of the marriage as one of many factors when dividing marital property. Longer marriages often come with more intertwined finances, which can make the process more complex.

Will I lose part of my spouse’s pension or retirement account?

Retirement accounts earned during the marriage are generally considered marital property in Illinois. Dividing them usually requires a special court order. Some Illinois public pensions use a QILDRO, while many private retirement plans use a similar order called a QDRO. This is a court order that tells a retirement plan to pay a portion of the benefits to the other spouse.

Can I still receive Social Security benefits based on my ex-spouse’s record?

Social Security benefits are a matter of federal law, not state law. In general, if you were married for at least 10 years, you may be able to claim Social Security benefits based on your former spouse’s work record, even after the divorce is finalized.

Schedule a Free Consultation with a DuPage County, IL Divorce Attorney

If you are thinking about a gray divorce in 2026, you deserve an attorney who takes a practical, results-oriented approach and puts your family first. At Fawell & Fawell, that is exactly what you will find. Attorney Alex Fawell brings 10 years of legal experience to every case, along with a background as a federal judicial clerk for the Honorable John Darrah and experience as a 711 law clerk for both the DuPage County and Cook County Public Defender’s offices. We offer free consultations. Reach out to a Wheaton divorce lawyer today or call 630-871-2400.