Easing the Stress of Joint Custody for Your Children

 Posted on January 12, 2026 in Child Custody

Joint custody has become more common in Illinois family courts over the past several years. Judges in 2026 increasingly choose arrangements where children spend as much time as possible with both parents. This shift is based on growing evidence that children do better when both parents stay involved in their lives.

When parents divorce, one of their biggest concerns is often how it will affect the children. Many parents worry that splitting time between two homes will be bad for their kids. These are valid concerns, but there are several ways to address them. Our Wheaton, IL child custody lawyer is here to help with your concerns.

What Makes a Good Joint Custody Plan?

There is no single joint custody arrangement that works for every family. Some parents split time evenly, while others find that a 60/40 or 70/30 split works better. In Illinois, the "allocation of parental responsibilities" (formerly called child custody and parenting time) allows for many different plans.

The best custody plans consider the practical needs of your family. Think about work schedules, school locations, and your child's current routines. Your custody arrangement should also include plans for holidays, school breaks, and vacations. Being clear about these details from the start prevents conflicts later.

Remember that custody plans can be modified as circumstances change. A schedule that works well when your child is in elementary school may need to be updated when they reach middle or high school.

How Can You Reduce Stress for Children in Joint Custody Arrangements?

Even though joint custody offers many benefits, moving between two homes can sometimes be stressful for children. Here are steps you can take to make joint custody as stress-free as possible for your kids:

Consider Your Child's Age and Needs

Different ages have different needs. For example, younger children often have strong attachments to one parent and may have separation anxiety. If this happens, shorter visits with each parent may be better. Instead of week-long stretches, consider switching every few days. If you have school-age children, know that they will benefit from a routine. Keeping a shared calendar that your child can see can help reduce anxiety about upcoming schedule changes.

Older children and teenagers need more flexibility as they become more independent and start new sports or activities. Include them in conversations about parenting time so they feel heard.

Make Transitions Smooth

Moving between homes is easier when children can bring their favorite things with them. Whether it's a stuffed animal, gaming system, or favorite blanket, having familiar items in both homes is comforting.

Try to maintain similar rules and routines in both households. When bedtimes, homework rules, and house rules align, children experience less stress and confusion.

Protect Your Children from Parental Conflict

One of the most stressful things for children is getting caught in ongoing fights between parents. Don't argue about custody matters or criticize the other parent where your kids can hear. Save these conversations for private phone calls, emails, or conversations when the kids are not around.

If you and your co-parent struggle to communicate politely, consider using a parenting app or email instead of in-person talks. Keep conversations focused on the children and their needs.

Support Your Child's Activities and Friendships

Joint custody should not mean your child misses out on things they enjoy. Work with your co-parent to make sure the custody schedule allows your child to do sports, music lessons, or have time with friends. Be flexible when needed so that parenting time schedules don't prevent your child from going to important events.

Provide Emotional Support

Even with the best planning, some children struggle with the emotions that come with divorce and joint custody. Watch for changes in behavior or school performance. These can be signs that your child needs more support.

Consider setting your child up with a counselor if needed. Having a neutral adult to talk to can help your child process their feelings in a healthy way.

Remember that Joint Custody Can Be Very Beneficial for Children

If you have done all you can to make sure your child has a good joint custody experience and you're still feeling concerned, remember that the research is on your side. Studies cited by the American Psychological Association have found that children in families with shared parenting have better outcomes than sole parenting (families with only one parent) across many areas. These include academic achievement, emotional health, and relationships with parents. These advantages show up regardless of the child's age, including infants and toddlers.

Under Illinois law 750 ILCS 5/602.7, courts decide parenting arrangements based on what serves the best interests of the child when parents cannot decide themselves. DuPage County judges take the research supporting joint custody into account when making these decisions.

Contact a Wheaton Child Custody Lawyer Today

Joint custody offers real benefits for children, but finding an arrangement that works needs thought and cooperation between parents. If you are working through custody decisions in 2026, having the right legal help makes a big difference.

The DuPage County divorce attorney at Fawell & Fawell understands how to create custody arrangements that serve children's best interests. Alex Fawell was a federal judicial clerk for the Honorable John Darrah and a 711 law clerk for both the DuPage County and Cook County Public Defender’s offices. He takes a practical, results-oriented approach beginning with a free consultation.

Contact us at 630-871-2400 for help developing a parenting plan that works.